KateSpot

My name is Joe Cinege and I was asked by Abe's wife Millie to say a few words about the man we all love. Thank you, Millie - I am truly honored.

Abe is known by many names - to some he is Abe, to others including myself, he is Abbas (a beautiful and fitting Arabic name meaning Father). To some he is uncle, cousin, or brother. To one, he is son. Still to others he IS father, dad and Papa. To Millie he is often Sweetheart or My Sweetie and most especially, MY LOVE. To all, he is FRIEND and to all, he is loved.

I met Abbas nearly 40 years ago on the campus of Upsala College in East Orange. It was 1966. Like any other college student, Abbas quickly earned a nickname. Since he was somewhat of an elder statesman (we were a bunch of 18 year olds and he was a world traveler - the wise man who often had visited Europe and then left Germany with a small carry bag to come by boat to NYC). This earned him the respected name of Papa-san.

As a respectful and reserved GENTLE - MAN from the mid-East, we also learned to call him Mr. Rezvan. Abbas taught us to respect others. He often called me Mr. Cinege and our other college buddy Charlie, Mr. DuBois. EH, maybe there was just a TINGE of sarcasm - but also a larger tinge of respectfulness. But I think my favorite nickname for Abbas is The Persian Prince - for in many ways, he was royalty.

In fact, one of the true measures of a man of royalty is how he treats others. In later life, whenever Abbas would greet me, we would both embrace and he would sincerely ask, "How are you, my friend?" My friend. What an honor for me to be HIS FRIEND. And the measure of a man's love for his fellow man is reflected in how someone treats the so called "undesirables" of this world. Abbas once had a blind roommate in college named Roger, who, it is fair to say, was also quite a PAIN in the NECK at times. Abbas didn't just do his duty and tolerate him as a roommate, but he patiently instilled social graces into a fellow human being who was in need of all the kindness he could get.

One evening, Roger went missing from his dorm room during a drifting snowstorm and it was Abbas who went looking for him and found him crying in a snowdrift and patiently guided Roger back to the dorm. Even back then, Abbas was being a shining example of how to treat other people - with dignity, respect and love.

Speaking of dignity and respect - I bet if you look up those two words in the dictionary, you'd see his picture next to both definitions. Dignity - Respect - Abbas. And it was these characteristics, along with the word CHARMING, that caused his future BRIDE, Millie to smile like a schoolgirl when Abbas was first pursuing her affection in the late 1980's. Mr. Persistent finally got Millie to go out to dinner with him, and the rest is history - a love story between the Persian Prince and his BROOKLYN Princess. I think at times the Mischievous Millie enjoyed saying slightly IMPROPER things just to watch Abe blush or fidget and sometimes bellow out, MILL, STOP IT!

Pedestals were Abbas' weapon of choice when it came to Millie - he always had her on one and she loved it - but so did he. He loved to pamper and Millie loved to be pampered - whether it was that chilled glass of wine waiting for her at the end of a long commute home or the frequent multi-course gourmet meal that the Culinary King whipped up at the last minute. I'm sure he probably even did the dishes.

She'd be the first to admit this - Millie was basically spoiled and Abbas loved spoiling her. Once she wanted to go to a Kenny Rogers concert but Abe told her NO, because he hated Kenny Rogers. From what she told me, I don't think Abbas ever told her NO to anything, and she was quite taken back. She was probably thinking, "How could he say NO to me?" Of course, two weeks later he handed her the concert tickets and even if he didn't have a good time, he probably made it look like he did.

It's hard to say the name Abe or Abbas - by itself. It sounds more natural when you say Abe & Millie or Abbas & Millie, or like I've said, The Prince and The Princess. They did everything together - except food-shopping - that was Abe's domain.

I'd like to recall for you a Fairy Tale. The Prince and The Princess each had a family when they met - both were previously divorced and both had children from that previous marriage. Abbas embraced Millie's Linda as his own; and along with Linda's husband, Dennis, they became Rezvans of sort. And their love produced a granddaughter for Abe & Millie - her name is V, or as Papa would kid around - at times Gloria and at other times Maria.

Abbas was a SEVERELY PROUD man. SEVERELY PROUD. And two of the people he was most proud of were his daughter Katie and his son Tim. For example, when we were together last Saturday in Abbas & Millie's living room, we were with Tim for several hours - and after he left, Cindy told Abbas how wonderful Tim is - Abbas listened carefully and then stated matter-a-factly that he doesn't like to pound his chest about his children or grandchildren - but his chest was puffed up and he had that trademark twinkle in his eye and that satisfied smile. Abbas knew he did a good job, but of course he would never OBVIOUSLY take the credit.

Millie also came out ahead with the extended relationships too. She HAS Katie and her Husband. And their love created two more grandchildren for Abe & Millie - Eldest and Youngest. Also the apples of Papa's eye. I got to see Husband's strength firsthand earlier this week as he gave such comfort to Millie in her hour of need. And Tim's girlfriend, was a true angel as she held Abe's hand in his hour of need.

But I also witnessed the great love of a father waiting for his children to arrive so that he knew it would be OK to go. This is FAMILY and this is what summed up the life of Abbas Rezvan - His Family. In their den is a collage picture of Abbas' father, the children, the grandchildren and Millie & Abbas - which gives lasting truth again to the old saying that "A Picture IS Worth A Thousand Words."

As if being a successful father, grandfather and husband isn't enough, Abbas had many other successes - too many to name.

For starters, we have a man who grew up in Tehran, Iran and spent much time in Europe. He then made his way from Germany to the US with basically nothing but a small bag and the clothes on his back. He was a go-getter. He improved his English language skills by talking everyday with the Mailman. He managed to get himself enrolled in college and worked his tail off to pay his bills. Of course his determination and love of learning led him to graduate college with a degree in chemistry, earn an MBA and graduate the Culinary Institute.

Abbas had a long and successful career in the food services business, most recently as the director for Brookdale Community College. Prior to that, he worked at the famous Serendipity Restaurant in NYC before it became so famous. He also had the energy, dedication and intelligence to teach business courses in the evenings at the college. He taught in a way that made learning fun - by relaying his many stories and experiences in life. His love of knowledge was contagious. Just a week ago he was giving us all a lesson on growing and processing coffee.

One of Abe's heroes was a man named Fred Lebow. I don't know how many people knew that, but Abbas told me about it years ago. Fred was a famous race organizer for running in New York and was diagnosed with brain cancer at the age of 58 - then ran the five borough marathon two years later. You can see why Fred was Abbas' inspiration - they both were determined to do what they loved doing regardless of any obstacles.

So of course Abbas was always up for a challenge and he used the inspiration of Fred to carve out his own running records. His basement is like the Runner's Hall of Fame. His races are too numerous to mention but to give you a sense of his accomplishments all you have to know is a few - like the NYC Marathon, the Boston Marathon, and many Spring Lake 5's - the latest of which was only a mere 21 weeks ago on May 29th - which he ran with his son, Tim.

Abbas has done much in his lifetime to be proud of - but there's one thing he did which I believe meant more to him than any of his other achievements - and that is the day he became an American Citizen. My wife, Cindy,& I were at Charlie & Lynn's in Pennsylvania waiting for Abbas & Millie to arrive. We had a weekend planned together. When they got there, Abbas was beaming and Millie nudged him and said, Go ahead - tell 'em, Abe - you've been dying to tell 'em. He told us he had been studying and had taken all the steps to become an American Citizen and he proudly showed us the documentation. Then he collected his well earned hugs.

There are many pictures and plaques hanging on the walls of the Rezvan home. One in particular caught my eye the other day - it's the little plaque that is entitled PAPA. It describes the characteristics and attributes of the man who carries the name, PAPA - and no one has earned the right to carry it more than Abbas.

There are 9 attributes.

The Man with the name PAPA (Characteristics & Attributes)

The man who carries the name PAPA
1-Expression
Known to set a Good Example
I know of no better example of goodness, than the tangible proof of a daughter and son who always made a proud man prouder. In many ways, Katie & Tim reflect the goodness of their father. For those who never had the good fortune to meet Abbas - just spend some time with Kate & Tim and you'll see what you've missed out on.

The man who carries the name PAPA
2-Personality
A Faithful person full of honor
By his own admission, Abbas was not a religious man - but more important, he was spirit filled. He was a faithful friend, father, husband and PAPA. And he lived a life of honor above all else.

The man who carries the name PAPA
3-Natural
Is a keen observer of detail
Abbas knew a lot about many different subjects - and when he would impart his wisdom, he did not speak in generalities, he got down to specifics. I think Millie can attest to the fact that when she was with others and was acting a little too Millie-like, she always was caught by the watchful eye of the Observer of Detail.

The man who carries the name PAPA
4-Instinctive
Quick to react to danger
The way I look at this one is - Abbas was instinctively The Protector to keep his Family shielded from any and all dangers. He would always be the one to carry the burden of worry in a very stoical manner.

The man who carries the name PAPA
5-Emotional
Has a gentle way of speaking
This one goes without say - he was a gentle-man in all he did and said. I've never seen him angry - nor did I ever hear him use disrespectful language. Many times, he was the voice of reason and calm in a world of turmoil and noise.

The man who carries the name PAPA
6-Reputation
There when someone is in need
I don't have to say anything for this characteristic - I just have to glance over at Tim, Katie, Linda or Millie and they know Abbas was always there - in their times of need.

The man who carries the name PAPA
7-Physical
Possesses great vigor
What more can be said - he was Our Marathon Man. He was probably a stronger runner after his triple bypass surgery than before it.

The man who carries the name PAPA
8-Mental
A genuine problem solver
I've always known Abbas to be one to say, we will work it through. Even when he became ill, he never complained - his philosophy was that he would deal with it. His mantra about problems was - it's all right - we will get through this - don't worry.

The man who carries the name PAPA
9-Goal
To succeed even where others fail
Success is measured in never giving up - never surrendering. Abbas had many successes - coming to US, learning the language, getting degrees, working at good jobs, being an adjunct professor. But his greatest success is as a loving human being - full of dedication to those closest to him. Abbas succeeded at being A Lover of all mankind. He had a zest for life, because he had a zest for people - especially his family. Millie often called him DEAR - and Millie too was his DEAR.

To Abbas - it is my honor to say, I love you, My Friend. It is my belief that he is with God and has already heard the words, "Welcome Home, My Friend."

On Monday, when Abbas and I were together in his bedroom, I asked him what I can do for him. He looked up at me with an expression that had only one thing written on it and he said to me in his very formal way, "Joseph, pray for me, my friend."

I promised him I would - and I'd like to invite anyone here, if they would like to join me right now in fulfilling that promise.

Our Father which art in heaven, hallowed be thy name
Thy kingdom come
Thy will be done in earth as it is in Heaven
Give us this day our daily bread
And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those that trespass against us
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. AMEN

I'd like to finish with a poem - I don't know who the author is but I found it comforting and hope you do to. It's called "His Journey's Just Begun"

Don't think of him as gone away
His Journey's just begun
Life holds so many facets
This earth is only one

Just think of him as resting from
The sorrows and the tears
In a place of warmth and comfort
Where there are no days and years

Think how he must be wishing
That we could know today
How nothing but our sadness
Can really pass away

And think of him as living in the
Hearts of those he touched

For nothing loved is ever lost
And he was Loved So Much.

Thank you Millie for this great honor of being able to speak about MY FRIEND

Gob Bless Abbas and God Bless us all.