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January 21, 2004
Furious
P went outside for a cigarette last night. He had "quit" smoking last Wednesday - the day of his surgery. He managed to sneak out and purchase a pack sometime Monday while the girls and I were out at my mother's house.
After the President was finished speaking, I was surking around on the computer when I see P. wearing his coat and hat. He was standing in the kitchen. I asked him where he was going - thinking he was taking out the garbage or something. "Out for a cigarette" he answered right before opening the sliding glass door and walking outside.
Needless to say, I was beside myself with anger. I walked out of the room, fuming. At that moment, I didn't even want to be in the same room with him. I decided to take a shower then watch tv in the bedroom. He ended up coming into the bedroom about 40 minutes later. I didn't even look at him. He apologized but I ended up scolding him. ::sigh:: He has a <i>wound</i> in the back of his throat. If food and drink hurt his throat, WTF is smoke going to do to it? Heal it? I think not.
I smoked for eleven years. When I got pregnant, I quit. Cold turkey. I knew I didn't want to hurt M. I HAD to quit. Am I now a pain in the ass non-smoker? You freakin' bet. I don't throw pamphlets in your face but I sure as hell will nag someone that I love and hope they can quit. A long time ago, P decided not to smoke in the house or the cars. His decision. Having the girls around made that choice very easy for him. I agreed with his choice.
I really wish he didn't pick up smoking again. ::sigh::
Posted by Cate at January 21, 2004 08:11 AM
Comments
You're right, it's hard to quit. I quit 5 years ago. And it STILL sucks. Sometimes it's just harder for some people.
Posted by: Bethanie at January 21, 2004 08:35 AM
I can relate. My hubby won't just quit either. It's a touchy subject in this house, cuz my Grama died of lung cancer from smoking at 50 years old. I get so furious!!
Posted by: Liz at January 21, 2004 08:54 AM
My hubby won't/can't quit either. He's tried zyban - that was good for 3 months; I really got my hopes up! - and patches and cold turkey and hypnosis... He's tried it all.
Back about 5 or 10 years ago, when I had hope that he'd really quit, I would become so hurt and angry when I would find out that he'd had one. Oh, it was like being cheated on!!
But. I had to let go and accept that he won't quit. He can't. I've threatened to leave him, but as much as I mean to him, he can't quit. It's part of him, at 57 years old. And I have no control over it. None.
And it sucks.
I'm praying that Paul finds whatever he needs to be able to quit.
Posted by: pam at January 21, 2004 09:12 AM
Forgot to mention; it's an even touchier subject for me because my Dad died of lung cancer in HIS 50's. :(
Posted by: pam at January 21, 2004 09:13 AM
My hubby won't quit right now, AND he still smokes in the house. As you can imagine, it really irritates my asthma from time to time, but I wn't tell him he can't since he pays for the house.
At least your hubby is going outside to smoke!
Posted by: kim at January 21, 2004 09:17 AM
That's a real shame. When you're ill is the ideal time to quit. I did last Autumn when I had flu & bronchitis & asthma. I couldn't smoke for 4-5 days, and I didn't go back to it. Still fancy a ciggie sometimes, but I'm not giving in. My doctor said that the people who succeed in giving up are usually the ones who go 'cold turkey'. I can't believe how much money I've saved. *Hugs*
Posted by: Annie at January 21, 2004 08:33 PM
Aww I am so sorry! I hope that he quits soon. He has a commitment to you and the girls that I don't think he is keeping by killing himself!
Posted by: Jess at January 21, 2004 10:06 PM
