KateSpot: My Nana

May 20, 2003

My Nana

My Nana died on May 19, 2001.

I got the call from my Mom while I was driving on the GSP to go visit Nana at the hospital. I just KNEW when I saw my Mom's number come up on my phone.. All she said, at first, was not to go to the hospital, go to her place. I kept saying why why... I knew why. Then she told me, crying, that Nana just died. I had to pull my car over and I bawled. God - I miss her so damn
much it hurts. I can't even talk about her without crying. She was such a fighter..she didn't deserve to die - not this way... Thank GOD the drs said she didn't suffer, at least not at that moment. I had just seen her the night before - She was so cranky! I was trying to show her the proofs of M and O's portraits. She didn't want to see them at first... But, she needed to use the bedpan and I got the nurse for her. She was trying to send me hone but I didn't leave - I remember calling my Mom and telling her that Nana was being cranky. I went back to chat with her some more.. She suddenly asked to see the proofs of the girls. So, I pulled them out, got her glasses and she picked the 1 picture of the girls that me and Mom had agreed upon as the best picture. I remember chatting with her for a few more minutes and she kept telling me to go home. I gave her a kiss, told her that I loved her and I would be back tomorrow to visit. And..that, my friends, was the last time I saw my Nana....
Christ - this hurts so damn much - I ****ing miss her. She was only 78.

I love you Nana.

Posted by Cate at May 20, 2003 08:54 AM

Comments

(((HUGS))) I wish I could give you a real one.

Posted by: Allison at May 20, 2003 09:50 AM

Wow, I'll bet she knew it was time and didn't want you to see her that way. I'm so srry, wish I could give you a hug, too.

Posted by: Elizabeth at May 20, 2003 10:07 AM

Wow. Even though she seemed cranky, you left on a good note, after showing her pics of your girls.
I'm sorry, I hope you get through this as best as you can...
Take care.

Posted by: Rachael at May 20, 2003 10:55 AM

(((HUGS)))

Kate I know exactly how you feel. Nannies are so special, I think it hurts so much worse because of that.

Posted by: Mary Carmen at May 20, 2003 11:42 AM

I lost my grandma in Sept 01 and I completely agree with your sentiment. I miss her daily.

Posted by: daisy at May 20, 2003 11:49 AM

Nobody loves you like a Grandma :(

Posted by: Lisa at May 20, 2003 12:21 PM

((hugs)) - I'm sorry you are hurting.

Posted by: Chris at May 20, 2003 12:22 PM

{{{hugs}}}

Posted by: Melissa at May 20, 2003 03:20 PM

I am so sorry for you Kate. I have still got one of my Nana's she will be 75 this year and she is a star. Unfortunately I didn't get to meet the other one, she passed just before I was born.

You obviously loved your Nana very much and I'm sure she loved you ust the same. Take comfort in knowing that she is with you all the time.....your guardian angel.

Posted by: Jackie at May 20, 2003 04:40 PM

Here's a ((hug)) from me too.

Posted by: Tiff at May 20, 2003 04:57 PM

I'm sorry about what happened. I wish I had something better to say. *Hugs* Take care.

Posted by: Yayie at May 20, 2003 07:04 PM

HUGS Kate. Losing someone close to you sucks. There's no other way to put it. I lost my (maternal) mamaw in Jan 98. But in that case, even though she was just 76, she had had Alzheimer's for years and it was truly a blessing, and end to her suffering. I lost Mom in October 98 to a car accident. Nothing can EVER replace those to women.

Wish I could give you a big hug right now. Sometimes you just need one.

Posted by: Kim at May 20, 2003 08:50 PM

I know how you feel. There's something special about Grandmothers.....

(((Kate)))

Posted by: Da Goddess at May 22, 2003 12:14 AM

I recently lost my nana too. After fighting a 3 year long battle with a super virus, she passed away happily in August. I feel sorry for you and for all the other grievers out there. U go girl!!

Posted by: Sarah at November 20, 2003 07:45 PM